OFF THE RECORD

I cuss a lot. In other news, I have adorable pets.

On best friends and California

with 2 comments

Too often in life, there comes a time when goodbyes must be said. Our pride and selfishness must be pushed aside for another’s benefit and, if you’re a crier, tears must be shed.

Unfortunately for me, one of those times is now. Even more unfortunately, I’m a crier.

I’ve been trying to hold it together – for Pete, because he doesn’t always deal well with my tears when he’s not the cause of them; for myself, because I’m okay with this, right?; but mostly for Luci, because I know this is something she not only needs but wants to do. And most of the time I think I do a pretty alright job at being okay with this.

Unfortunately for me, this is not one of those times.

Don’t get me wrong: I’m excited for her. A big move to Cali may be just the thing she needs in her life, in so many ways. A new place, a new job, new people, new responsibilities and maybe even a whole new take on life. I know she may have her doubts but there are none in my mind that she will leave the state of Washington on Friday, southbound, and succeed at any- and everything she attempts in California.

This is where pushing the selfishness aside comes in, because it’s not her I’m worried about. It’s me.

I know that, in recent months, her and I have not been as close as we have been in the past… but, in my head and heart, only in the sense that we don’t talk as often as we used to. I’ve attributed that to busy lives and schedules. It takes a toll on friendships when a girl moves in with her boyfriend, and I know that part of it falls on me. But she’s still always been a short drive away when I need her or, more importantly, when she needs me.

Most of it’s fear. And selfishness. Fear that something’s going to come up in my life when I’ll need her more than anyone else and she won’t be able to be here TONIGHT. On one hand, I know that’s an incredibly selfish thing to be afraid of. On the other hand, what are best friends for?

I want her to go – no, seriously – because I know she wants to go. I just have to accept the fact that my best friend’s leaving me for California. Again. What’s Cali got that I don’t?

That’s a joke, Luci, and I say that because there’s no doubt in my mind you’re reading this (it helps to know your homepage is my blog…).

Know these things:

  • You’re gonna do great down there.
  • I’m gonna miss you.
  • I can’t wait for you to come back. Because you. Are. Coming. Back. Love!
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Written by Kaci Johanna

October 28, 2008 at 11:10 am

Posted in Family, My writing

2 Responses

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  1. i love you, and thank you for everything. i’m glad you came and visited me before i left. 🙂

    oh, and by the way… i can still make it there in a night.

    love!

    lucipetunia

    October 30, 2008 at 10:14 am

  2. I can relate to this post as my best friend moved to Florida a year ago (I am in California. We still talk pretty much daily but miss her like crazy!You will be okay and it wis great that you’re being such a supportive freind to her

    Princess Extraordinaire

    October 28, 2008 at 1:02 pm


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