OFF THE RECORD

I cuss a lot. In other news, I have adorable pets.

Because Prop 8 and the like piss me off

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Alright, alright, just one more political post. I’ve had this for awhile and in light of the recent atrocity in California* – and by that I mean the success of Proposition 8 – I’m posting it again (I had previously posted it on MySpace about two years ago, but who reads that shit?). I can’t for the life of me remember where I got it because we all know I’m not this witty. Hopefully the sarcasm is clear because I’d hate for people to think I really believe this shit.

10 reasons why gay marriage is “wrong”
  1. Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester and air conditioning.
  2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way hanging around tall people will take you tall.
  3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
  4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all – women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites and divorce is still illegal.
  5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage is allowed. The sanctity of Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
  6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet and the world needs more children.
  7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children since straight parents only raise straight children.
  8. Gay marriage is not supported by a religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.
  9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
  10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. We could never adapt to new social norms, just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy or longer life spans.
Of course, the basic premise behind this is that love makes a marriage. Please visit Beth and Meredith at House Made. They are sad, but not defeated. 
The more I think about it, the more angry I get. I just can’t understand how people can vote in favor of something that is so discriminatory. How can it be so clear to me yet so unclear to others that legislation like this goes against the foundation of our country? To deny rights to people based on their sexual orientation… seems to very un-American to me.
* I’m also disappointed in the similar ballot measures that passed in other states, which I discussed earlier .
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Written by Kaci Johanna

November 6, 2008 at 9:05 pm

Posted in Politics

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