OFF THE RECORD

I cuss a lot. In other news, I have adorable pets.

An open letter

with 3 comments

Dear Callie,

My hands are not to be chewed on or bitten. On a related note, neither are my forearms, feet/toes, hair, face or any item of clothing, shoes included. Your father and I have spent both the time and money to get you a variety of toys specifically made for chewing. There’s the duck, pheasant, rope and mini tennis balls in addition to bones.

While we’re on the subject, could you please ease up on Velvet a little? I know she’s not much bigger than you and you’re getting closer to her size every day, but she’s just not as, um, spirited as you. And I know you’d rather her not have so much hair so you could get to her flesh more easily, but I think at this point her fluffiness is the only thing keeping her alive.

Sincerely,
Your bloodied mother

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Written by Kaci Johanna

November 11, 2008 at 9:34 am

Posted in Dogs

3 Responses

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  1. Okay, so maybe it’s not quite as bad as I made it sound, but seriously, this puppy’s psychotic! I swear she’s part evil… I hope it stops soon! Her parents are both sweethearts so I’m pretty sure it will…

    And I think I need to invest in some armor just to fulfill your vision of me dressed as a knight…

    K.

    November 12, 2008 at 7:06 am

  2. OMG! Poor Velvet! Well, I guess poor you too đŸ˜‰ Arent puppies FUN!?? Eventually the chewing will stop. Actually, I am not sure about some dogs. Keep your hands and arms inside some kevlar or chainmail until she stops… hahaha. I just had a vision of you dressed as a knight just to walk in the door, while ferocious Callie attacks you…

    Dune Cardigans

    November 12, 2008 at 5:13 am

  3. hilarity ensued.

    major lulz

    Rikster

    November 11, 2008 at 10:43 pm


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